Forgive Each Other Just As God Has Forgiven You

     In his book Letters to Malcomb, C.S. Lewis writes these words, “Last week in prayer, I discovered, or at least I think I did, that I was suddenly able to forgive someone that I had been trying to forgive for over thirty years...” I can really relate to C.S. Lewis’s words as I am writing this blog about forgiveness. In my own life, I find that to be such a struggle. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do. Sometimes we find it difficult to even think about forgiving somebody who hurt us. But just as we desperately need God's forgiveness of our failings, so we desperately need to forgive those who fail us. In Matthew 6:14-15 it says "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."
   
     One person who learned to forgive in an extremely tough situation was Christian author and speaker Corrie Ten Boom. She tells her story in her book titled The Hiding Place (which is an amazing book)! Here is her story ---> Corrie and her sister, Betsie, were confined in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II because they were caught concealing Jews. Corrie survived 10 months of inhuman and humiliating treatment at the hands of the Nazi guards but her sister died because of the brutal conditions. After the end of the war, Corrie traveled the world telling the story of God’s faithfulness during her imprisonment.

     After one of her messages, a man approached her who she immediately recognized as one of the more brutal guards at the concentration camp. He identified himself as a former guard and then told her he had become a Christian since that time. He went on to share how he had experienced God’s forgiveness for all the cruel things he had done there. Now he was standing in front of her, his hand extended, asking for her forgiveness as well. If you were Corrie Ten Boom, how do you think you would be feeling or what would you be thinking at that moment? I know that it would feel almost impossible for me to forgive him.

     Corrie continues the story by saying - "I had to forgive him and I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were also able to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. But those who nursed bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that....And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion – I knew that too....Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. ‘Jesus, help me!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’" --- "And so woodenly and mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. As I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, and sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes. 'I forgive you, brother!' I cried, 'With all my heart!' For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then, in that moment.”

     From this story we learn how God forgives - eagerly, totally, and lavishly. And is it any wonder on the basis of that, that when Jesus taught us to pray the best words that He could think of for us who have so great a need to be forgiven were the words "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us?” Those words really put our feet to the fire. They tell us that God's forgiveness of us is based on our forgiveness of others.

     In Matthew 6:12 is says “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”  Everyone here probably agrees that this is a difficult word from the Lord. It is hard to understand and even harder to apply. Our basic problem is quite simple: It appears that the Lord has drawn something into this prayer that does not belong there. We would understand this petition perfectly if it read, “Forgive us our debts,” and just stopped right there. That would make sense.  We all understand that we need to confess our sins and ask for forgiveness. We know that confession and repentance are part of what prayer is all about.  What makes this prayer so frustrating is that Jesus seems to drag in something that does not belong when he adds the phrase “as we have forgiven our debtors.” At first glance, there doesn’t seem to be any necessary connection between the first part of the petition and the second part. So this petition is puzzling, difficult, and one that bothers every sincere thinker. It makes you wonder what Jesus really meant. Is Jesus here teaching that God’s forgiveness is conditional? Is He teaching us that our forgiveness with God is somehow predicated on our forgiving other people?  It would appear at first reading that that is indeed what he is teaching. When it comes to forgiveness, who takes the first step - God or man? Indeed, this is a difficult text of scripture. But this verse means exactly what it says. The teaching of this verse can be given in one simple sentence: Unless you forgive, God will not forgive you. There is nothing hidden here; there is nothing tricky here. Jesus is saying that unless you forgive, you will not be forgiven.

     Some people think that forgiveness is the same as forgetting. "Just forgive and forget," they say. But how do you forget, especially when the wrong is something that really hurt you and perhaps some of the consequences are still with you? You can’t just turn off your mind. Forgiveness isn’t simply forgetting. So the key to learning how to forgive is in learning how God has forgiven us. In Jeremiah 31:34 is says “For I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more.” And in Isaiah 43:25 is says “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” In these passages, God isn’t promising a lapse of memory. He knows all. He does not "forget" in that sense. What He is promising here is that, in forgiving our sins, He will not make mention of them again. He will not bring them up again. This is the key to understanding forgiveness. Forgiveness amounts to a promise never to bring up the issue of blame again - not to the offender, not to another, not even to oneself in brooding over the loss. This means that once we extend the promise of forgiveness we can no longer throw it up against the offender, tell another the story of it, or sit around running it over and over in our minds.

         It is hard to forgive. But we can forgive when we understand God’s word. Difficult? Yes! Costly? By all means! But the cost of unforgiveness is far greater. I’ll end with the words of Jesus Himself - "For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

"And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13